What would I have told my pregnant self in preparation for being a mum? Your life is about to change. You are completely fucked. Haha just kidding. True...but its a bit more complicated than that. I've never been so sleep deprived, so emotionally, physically and literally milk drained as I was in those early days of being a parent! Something that's been irritating me recently is this; people saying...
"Oh being a mum isn't that hard. Women are always complaining and whinging about how hard it is but really it isn't. Theres this idea that motherhood is so hard and that if you aren't feeling challenged that you aren't a good mother"
This really presses my buttons! Firstly because I think if anyone tells you they don't find motherhood hard then I would love to meet them. I want all their tips and tricks and coping strategies because god knows I need it! I could shout it from the rooftops THIS IS SO HARD! Every day is HARD, every night is HARD! I don't think it's just because I had a tough time in the start either, that was fucking hard but getting home was HARDER! The baby who never sleeps, the not being able to feed, the crying, oh god the constant crying.
Secondly this conversation irritates me is because why does it matter! Why does the media care about how mums perceive their own experience of caring for a new baby. We no longer watch the evening news in our house because it's absolutely horrifying. The war, murders, car accidents and missing people to boot. This is the news, this is the world we live in, so why are morning talk shows so obsessed with all the mamas?! The comment about you not being a good mother is completely ridiculous. I think every mum is the best mother for their baby! I was chatting with my two mummy friends recently about being judged by other mums. I went home thinking about it and while I can admit that I have judged some choices, I really don't do it that often. If Susie feeds her baby only green veggies and rice then so be it! If Carla uses self settling for her baby then she is more than entitled to. It's her baby, she knows her baby best! If these mums were caring for Oli and doing these things then obviously I would have a different opinion. We are all so different in our choices, values and the way we live our lives. Motherhood is exactly the same!
At the end of the day we are all just trying to get through. I think you have got the point that I think this mummy business is hard. Yes, its the most challenges I've ever faced, however....I've never felt so loved, needed, in love, amazed by anyone or anything. I stare at Oli for hours on end, he makes my life so much richer. Having a baby has made me realise whats important in life. My family, my close friends and our health and happiness. Yes its hard, but its completely worth it. It's so bloody hard that I'm going to do it again one day, and again and again!
Do you think being a mum is hard? Am I completely overreacting here or are my opinions warranted? Xx